Valentine Osborne Ralph Du Rose

My great grandmother’s first husband

Valentine Osborne Ralph was born on 19th December 1887 in Fulham. His father was John Ralph and his mother was Helena Maria, née Fulbrook. On Valentine’s birth certificate, her maiden name is given as Box. Helena had been born in 1861, and her father was unknown. The name Box comes from Helena’s mother’s marriage to Henry Box in 1865.

Valentine’s father John died shortly after he was born in 1888, aged 28, from an intestinal obstruction at Charing Cross Hospital. Helena was left a widow with an infant son, aged only 27.

When the 1891 Census was taken on 5th April, Valentine, aged 3, was living with his mother on the High Street in Putney with Richard and Elizabeth Brown. Helena (incorrectly transcribed as Ellen) was their housekeeper, and the Browns were hairdressers.

Meanwhile, Valentine’s aunt Caroline (his father John’s sister), who had married Henry Du Rose in 1883, died in 1893 of Puerperal Fever. Puerperal Fever, also known as Childbed Fever, was a devastating disease which affected women within the first three days after childbirth and progressed rapidly, causing acute symptoms of severe abdominal pain, fever and debility. I am not sure of the fate of the child as there is no record of any child being born to Henry and Caroline in 1893 (their third child was born at the beginning of the year prior).

Henry Du Rose and Caroline, née Ralph, had three children during their marriage. Their first child Mabel was born in 1889 but died shortly after birth. They had a second daughter called Maud Caroline in 1890 and a third daughter Ethel in 1892.

In 1894, the widowers Henry Du Rose and Helena Ralph, married. This meant that Valentine became Henry’s stepson as well as his nephew. It takes the phrase ‘keeping it in the family’ to a whole new level!

Henry and Helena went on to have five children together. For their first child, Helena gave the maiden name Box again. I have not been able to locate the following four children on the General Register Office records. I wonder if anyone in the family knew the truth of Helena’s parentage?

In 1895, Henry and Helena had a daughter Dorothy Nellie. There followed four sons: Harry Arthur, born approximately 1897; Herbert James, born approximately 1899; Harold John (known as Jack), born approximately 1900; and Albert Edward, born approximately 1902. All five children were baptised at St Mary the Virgin Church in Richmond on 26th April 1904.

The 1901 Census was taken on 1st April. At this time Valentine, aged 13, was still using his birth father’s surname Ralph. He is living with his step-father Henry, his mother Helena, two step-sisters Maud and Ethel, and two half-siblings Dorothy and Harry. They are living in Staines and Valentine is working as a garden boy. I expect he is working for his step-father as Henry’s occupation is listed as Manager of a market garden.

Valentine married my great grandmother Margaret Patience Bassett on 16th August 1909 in Hampshire. Valentine is now using his step-father’s surname Du Rose (and his birth surname Ralph as a middle name) and lists Henry as his father on the marriage certificate. Valentine never knew his birth father.

Valentine and Margaret had their first child Kathleen Madge on 21st January 1910 in Farnham. Family paperwork has revealed that their daughter was born prematurely because of a carriage accident, and she died aged just three days old.

On 2nd April 1911, when the Census was taken, Valentine and Margaret are living off of Sloane Square in London. Valentine’s occupation is listed as Soldier, having enlisted in the Grenadier Guards on 24th January 1905. His service number was 11994.

On 3rd May 2011, Valentine and Margaret had a baby boy, John Valentine Ralph Du Rose. I wonder if the name John was in memory of Valentine’s birth father? John Du Rose grew up to become a Detective Assistant Commissioner at Scotland Yard.

The following year, on 24th January 1912, Valentine was transferred to the Army Reserve. Later that year, on 15th July, Valentine and Margaret had a daughter, Helena Margaret. Helena’s story is a curious one. A ‘problem’ occurred in 1929 when Helena was 17 years old and she was confined to Brookwood (Mental) Hospital where she spent the rest of her life till she died on 29th December 1988. A pregnancy is mentioned in family paperwork.

A second son was born in 1914, Joseph William, and Valentine was recalled for service on 5th August that year, due to the outbreak of the First World War. He completed his first tour in France from 12th to 27th August.

Valentine returned to France on 22nd January 2015, returning home on 23rd May the same year. While he was away, Margaret had a second daughter Ethel Violet on 1st April. I knew her as my Great Auntie Vi and my family visited her and her husband Len often when I was growing up.

Valentine was home for some time before his next tour began on 29th December 1916. 1916 was a tragic year for him as he lost both his mother and one of his half-brothers. In June 1916, Valentine’s mother Helena had run out onto the dark street in front of their home early in the morning with the hopes of catching one of her sons who had left home without his lunch. She was struck and run over by a market van and tragically died from her injuries (haemorrhage to the liver and spleen).

His half-brother Harry died in action on 7th December 1916 whilst on tour in Egypt. He is buried there at the Alexandria War Memorial Cemetery.

A third son, Raymond Leslie, was born in 1917. Possibly while Valentine was still away in France. Valentine returned home on 10th August 1917.

Valentine began what was to be his last tour of service on 2nd August 1918. On the 31st of the same month, Valentine lost a second half-brother Herbert James, who was also fighting in France. Valentine returned home from France on 11th November 1918 and was declared no longer fit for service on 23rd January 1919. He had been seriously injured four times during the war, and I believe was also suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

A letter from my great grandmother to the War Pension Service dated 14th August 1919 reads:

“Dear Sir, I am now writing to you. My Husband received four letters of the 24th January 1919 on being discharged from the Guards but having so much trouble I am sorry to say with him. But I am now writing to ask you if you can give me any advice since my Husband has been discharged he has appeared very funny in his way. A fortnight ago he was worse and today they have taken [him] away out of his mind caused through war service. This thing is this isn’t right for them to take him to the workhouse. Surely not after what he has gone through for his King and Country. I applied to the Social War Pensions and even told that they would have something to do if they took notice what all Soldier’s Wives told them. I again applied and told them that they would have to do something. They stated that he was discharged through wounds, not nerves. They then gave me a letter to take to the [?] Officer who ask me all about my private affairs. She to would to my mind is not right. Not only that I have had my four years child very ill and he died on Sunday [Joseph]. As he being allowed through my Husband Pension, am I being entitled to funeral expenses for the child and have I got to pay any thing for him while he is away for his keep and [?]. I am entitled to the allowances while he is away. If you could tell me how I stand in expenses to what they are and for it I shall be glad. I am enclosing you a few particulars from his discharge papers. I am his. Your faithfully, M Du Rose”

A note written at the bottom of the letter reads “This seems a sad case, what can be done to help this poor woman?”

Valentine and Margaret had their sixth child Peter in 1920. Sadly, just a few months later on 16th October, Valentine passed away from complications due to the injuries he sustained during the war. He was only 32 years old. Valentine left behind his wife Margaret, aged 32, and his children: John aged 9, Helena aged 8, Ethel aged 5, Raymond aged 3, and Peter, newly born. Joseph had died the previous year, possibly of pneumonia, as mentioned in Margaret’s letter.

My great grandmother Margaret went on to marry my great grandfather William Rogers in 1925 and they had one child together, my Gran Christine Barbara Rogers, born 23rd November the same year.

In amongst paperwork from my family, I found a letter from Auntie Vi about her father. It reads: “I have very little knowledge of my father’s history and family connections. He was seriously injured during the 1914-18 war and died from the effect of those wounds in 1920 aged 32, leaving his widow and six children [Valentine left behind five children as Joseph had died in 1919]. I was born in 1915 and my mother remarried in 1925. I am not aware of any family ties on the Du Rose side. I do recall my mother saying that she believed my father’s original surname was possibly Ralph and adopted Du Rose on the remarriage of his mother. Nothing else is known to me regarding his background. There are, however, one or two events which relate to Mrs Barbara Clapham’s letter to the magazine [Barbara wrote to “Yours” magazine hoping to track down her Du Rose relatives]. Firstly, it was intended that my first name should be Valerie Julia [Vi did like to be known as Julie/Julia] but an Aunt Ethel (?sister to Maud [correct]) arrived prior to my christening and I was duly named Ethel Violet – the latter because a bunch of violets arrived from my father in France.

In later years (the early 60s) my brother John, who was then at Scotland Yard, received an enquiry from a Maud Clisby in respect of the name Du Rose which apparently was her maiden name (?half-sister to my father [step-sister]). This led to my mother making contact with Maud and consequently my husband and myself made frequent visits to her for several years up to approximately late 1969 when she died [this is curious as Vi’s mother Margaret, my great grandmother, was living with Maud, her step-daughter, when the 1901 Census was taken – the wording of the letter suggests that Margaret did not know who Maud was]. She lived in East Oakley near Basingstoke and had a son Eric who we never met and lived near Three Bridges, East Sussex.

I was born in Kingston-upon-Thames, Surrey, and lived there until 1951 [when she and her husband emigrated to Canada for a few years]. On one occasion a working colleague mentioned that he knew of a family named Du Rose in Hampton, Middlesex but no contact was made. I’m afraid that the foregoing information is not very conclusive but at least coincidental and may provide some interest. I have no immediate relatives living.”